Reflecting On a Better ME

i write this because we need to hear it.

Image result for man in the mirror gif

this week was utterly insane, do you agree?  besides the deluxe super blood orange blue hyper moon eclipse (i kid, it was dope), there was just a lot of other hectic energy floating around that everyone was trying their hardest to dodge.  but, we made it through!

Image result for dodge gif

 now it’s time to celebrate YOU.

Image result for bankhead bounce gif

from what i gathered through my latest anonymous survey, most of y’all have zero issues celebrating yourself on a regular basis, so you go, y’all!  let’s jump right in:

I make time for myself…

Screen Shot 2018-02-03 at 1.41.50 PM.png

i find it so interesting that 50% of participants have a daily practice in which they make time for themselves.  what gives me most joy is that zero percent of participants clicked on the “ain’t nobody got time for that” option, which means that at the core, people really do want to show up for themselves and do something that keeps us connected (even when we are going through tough times and have “who am i again?” vibes.)

Image result for mc hammer gif

so, how do we stay connected?  how do we stay in tune with the best parts of ourselves? and how do we move about in a cruel world without losing sight of just how incredible we are?

Related image

humor me for a sec.

my mom (who is probably reading this) is terrible with computers and devices, but she is the MOST CONNECTED PERSON I HAVE EVER KNOWN.  she is one of the most selfless, beautiful people on this earth and devotes her time to filling the spiritual / emotional tanks of those around her. she is everything i want to be.

but, what makes her extra dope is that even when a thousand people are leaning on her for support, she somehow is able to keep enough of that “secret sauce” for HERSELF.  she knows when to plug in and when to unplug. she can guard her heart and mind in a way that let’s her do for others while keeping a little bit tucked away for herself. y’all think i’m something special?  – just know I GET IT FROM MY MAMA.  after 35+ years watching her float through the world, i learned a few skills.  now, i want to share them with you:

Related image

  1. save some energy for YOURSELF first.

  2. give. share. give some more.

  3. know when to plug in and when to unplug.

  4. write down things that matter to you.

  5. don’t stop believing.

when you put these things into motion, i mean REALLY do them, you will see your life transform.

Image result for mary jane post it notes gif

the trick is to make these new areas of focus so easy that your mind doesn’t even realize how much you’ve changed until your heart relays the message.  until you breathe more deeply.  until you notice your tears drying up. your reaction time slowing down. your ability to recover happening at a faster rate.  your level of patience going up…

then, because your new normal involves all of these simple, yet amazing practices, you have the ‘heart space’ to look back into your life and celebrate (or forgive) yourself.  you also have the capacity to look ahead and celebrate (or prepare) yourself.


The last time I remember really feeling amazing was…

This morning! Nothing is perfect but I choose to wake up happy.

I’m feeling pretty amazing right now, this blue moon and the energy have me reflecting in ways I never thought I could. I’m at this point in my life where I mastered self love, and I just want to share it with the world.


It’s been a while


When I hear how valued I am as a person.

Yesterday, giving time and a listening ear to someone who really needed it. In my opinion, the only path to peace is giving to others.

When my son was born.

i mentioned my mom earlier because she is someone i really admire.  she knows how to fill all of the right emotional spaces that someone needs at any given moment. i’ve been loaning her out to my friends who need a mother’s love for years, and yes hit me up if you need to borrow her too.  i can’t be greedy with a mom this dope.

let’s see who our respondents admire:

I really admire…

I really admire people who struggle people who love even when they once felt empty. As a person of Color, gay, of Filipino decent, raised in a low income neighborhood in San Francisco. My heart is filled with love. Love from all the social toxins and micro aggressions, I’ve experienced. Love from the struggle of being a gay man, being bullied, silenced, and outed beyond my own choice. Love from a young brown boy, growing up in The hold figuring out where to fit in. The streets? The schools? The socials? The scene? My love comes from the struggle that burdened me through these years. The story that I chose not to tell because the pain and trauma I’ve come across. My story has been untold, twisted, and silenced causing me to be broken, betrayed, and unsettled. It’s a time of releasing and I’m finally healed. I admire the struggle.

Everyone with a strong work ethic. Sometimes I just want to sit down on the couch and watch Netflix after a 7 hour day, but then I think about people like my boyfriend, who is a bartender, who is on his feet from 4pm-3am, and makes less money than I do… And I get up off my butt and push myself to do something more productive. (Most of the time.)

People who rally other people, including strangers, to stay positive and be kind.

My sister. She gives of herself constantly, without fail and never seems to need “me time”. All of her free time, for the most part, is spent volunteering or doing something for someone else. She’s amazing!

Individuals that genuinely love life

Anyone who’s stood up against someone who abused them.

Patience. I don’t have it, and while I work to improve that, I’ll watch those who do with admiration.

my mom

these responses are so so powerful.  it just dawned on me how important the word REFLECT is to the core of this post.  REFLECT is a word with two meanings, and both are equally crucial to our growth.  check it:

Screen Shot 2018-02-03 at 2.19.37 PM.png

“throw back without absorbing it” – that (to me) means to put out into the atmosphere the same types of things that we want coming our way.  right?!  or to BE LIKE THE PEOPLE WE ADMIRE, because they are versions of what we are striving to be.

Image result for twins gif

the other piece is to “think deeply or carefully about” – which means to make time to internalize, contemplate, re-think what you’ve already done before moving into action.

Image result for think back gif

so all in all, if we THINK DEEPLY AND CAREFULLY ABOUT OUR ACTIONS / INTENTIONS, THEN THROW BACK POSITIVITY INTO THE WORLD we will all be living our fullest, best lives.

Image result for whoa gif

then, we can really be proud of our contribution to the world.  we will feel more and more like we have purpose.

i was proud of my self the time i…

Didn’t give up.

I’m proud of myself anytime I make myself do something outside of my comfort zone, which is almost daily. Whether it’s a little thing or a big thing. I always feel good after I do it, even if it sucks along the way!

I’m proud of myself for learning how to be me without giving a damn about what society things. Being able to be beautiful inside and out. Self love is where it’s at, when you love your self fully and whole heartedly you’re able to give 100% to everyone and everything around you.

Heard my 4 year old daughter gushing about how much she loves her baby brother.

Walked away from a career that no longer satisfied or fulfilled me. I was doing things that would gain others (whom I didn’t respect) notoriety. Their buckets were full and mine was empty. As soon as I realized it would not change, I jumped. I jumped with faith in God and faith in myself. Sometimes you have to be your own hero.

Said “No” to someone that was toxic for my life. Finally pushed them out.

Stood up against my attacker.

we are stronger than we feel.  smarter than we know.  more visionary than we see.

Related image

i love myself today because…

I love myself today because that’s what I was sent here to do; autonomously. It’s hard to achieve anything when you’re caught up in the inner dialogue “I love me; I love me not”. If our inner voice just stops at “I love me” we can easily move forward and carry on with next level objectives like spreading love, teaching love, BEING love. I love myself because I’m fearless, capable, competent, resilient, loving, authentic, expansive and uncharted.

I love my self today because I’m brown, beautiful, and come from struggle. I love where I come from. I love that I’m resilient, I love that my love is sourced from others.

I tried my best. And my makeup looks amazing

I’m still here. Im still fighting to become the best version of myself with deeper understanding of others and to give more than I take. I’m seeing that’s where true contentment comes from.

I am the shit and Work with a bunch of Badass women that are empowering every day.

I don’t think I do


it’s not as easy as these blog posts make it seem.  beyond the quotes and the gifs and the attempts as co-creating a means for discussing for self love and acceptance, i know that it is hard.  hell, it’s hard for me.

me, also me:


I write these posts and source these quotes so that we can rely on each other – so that we can know that there are others out there thinking the same thoughts, with similar past experiences, who are also seeking to evolve and elevate who we are.

i write these posts as a reminder that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Image result for power ranger gif

we are the sum of our parts, not all of which is filled with glitter an sunshine. 

if we make time to discover new aspects of ourselves, to think about ourselves in a new light, and to perhaps chip away at old pain by allowing in new ways of paying attention to ourselves, we might just morph ourselves into something more epic than we thought we could be.

Image result for ugly to hot celebritiesImage result for ugly to hot celebritiesImage result for ugly to hot celebritiesImage result for ugly to hot celebritiesImage result for ugly to hot celebritiesRelated image




i will always end our #powerpact sessions by saying that i see you, i love you, and i am on your side.  let’s grow.

Comment below to add to this flow of thought.

catch me on the ‘gram if you want at @THEPOWERPACT

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s