Pursue Your PURPOSE

i write this for those that are still trying to figure it out.

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WARNING: in order for you to fully feel this post [I had to] clear your mind.


this is the million dollar question that has sent many of us down a crazy rabbit hole in search of why we are here.  some of us have even lost valuable time in our lives because we got stuck trying to figure out why the heck we are on this earth.  can you relate?  if so, keep reading – you are not alone.

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since we are already alive and kicking, when we think about our PURPOSE it usually starts with thinking about what we are trying to live for. some of us are living to make a better life for our family, some are living to get rich or die trying.  others just want to be accepted for who they are – either way, we have all looked up at the sky at some point and yelled “WHY AM I HERE?!” (metaphorically, for most)

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i asked a few anonymous friends to tell me what they’re living for – here is what they said.


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the crazy thing with life is that even though we don’t quite know why we are here at times, we are often living our lives for the betterment of those around us.



but… that happiness comes with contingencies.  people who do not have consistent exposure to love, joy, and happiness sometimes find it particularly hard to connect to their life’s PURPOSE.  and sometimes for those of us who are constantly surrounded by love and positivity it is still hella hard to figure out why the eff we were dropped down here and what we are supposed to do now that we exist. am i right, or am i right?!

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finding our PURPOSE is something every single one of us has on our minds, not just you.

questioning or trying to discover our PURPOSE can be shoved to the forefront of our crazy brains from a number of things – anything from having a baby, getting a good or bad grade on a test, pressure at work, gaining or losing weight, growing boobs as a pre-teen, or discovering your sexuality. most of us find it hard to narrow down the specifics of our PURPOSE in this crazy game of Tetris we call life.

Honestly though, i think i’ve got it figured out.

i took all of  the pressure off of myself and am now just left with this:

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 just be happy, yo!  That’s IT.

delve into things that make you happy as often as possible and you are pursuing your purpose.

when we make HAPPINESS, JOY, LOVE, and PEACE the only ways we measure our PURPOSE in life, we take all of the pressure off of trying to seek out some giant, world-dominating reason that we are here.

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 that makes “success” simply a bi-product of pursuing and living in our PURPOSE.

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Think about when we were younger – trying to figure things out was so daunting.  most of us spent our adolescence freaked-the-eff-out about basically everything – homework, parents, friends, bodies, feelings, religion – i mean, you name it, we were freaked out by it.  yet, we were also all trying to seem so cool! lol.  we were trying to look like we had it all figured out. but, we didnt.

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we were caught between our upbringing and who we were destined to become – 

(which basically means we were probably all totally insane)

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If I could go back to 15 year old me, I would say…

You are beautiful.

I would say to myself “listen to your heart and your dreams! Take a moment to know yourself and love yourself because no one can do it better than you. Allow yourself to make mistakes and know it’s ok because you will learn more by taking those risks. Relationships will come and go and know you will always be fine at the end. Go to cosmetology school and learn how to sew and persue art. Know that I Love you too!”

You are good enough

You are more than your sex.

What I thought I read first (lol): Go back 15 years: You don’t need to be in such a hurry. Be humble, keep it simple and don’t overbook yourself (aka burn candle at both ends). Give quality time to less projects rather than taking on more and doing a half ass job. Have faith. Don’t compare yourself to others, there is room for everyone to succeed and accomplish their dreams in this life. Set healthy boundaries in all of your relationships. Meditate. 15 year old me: You can say no to boys..its ok. You are a beautiful, talented and funny girl that doesn’t need validation from boys or “friends” to be your true self. Speak your mind and surround yourself with people that make you feel good and happy. Meditate.

You’ll be okay. Don’t be afraid. Tell it like it is. You’re not alone.

It’s going to be okay. Having a child at 15 is not going to define you or ruin your life. You are going to be okay, he is going to grow up to be wonderful and more than you could ever dream. You are also going to grow into a beautiful woman that inspires. Don’t give up.

preach, yall!  what i get out of these quotes from my friends is that we have to reach back to who we used to be and make good on what and how we feel/felt in our younger days in order to become a whole person in the present.  making good with our past is a non-negotiable step in living in our PURPOSE.

look in the mirror and tell yourself WE ARE OKAY.  we got through it, we survived, we moved forward.  I AM OKAY.

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for our whole lives most of us have felt like we’ve had to impress the world, or like we have to keep the “show” rolling and never look vulnerable.  we’ve been duped to believe that our PURPOSE is to look good in front of everyone, no matter the cost.

shocker, that’s a load of crap.

in my humblest opinion, OUR SOLE PURPOSE IS TO EXIST in a positive-centered, balanced, humble, forward-moving life.  that’s it.

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let’s see if the homies agree.

“Living a life with PURPOSE” means…

Believing in what fulfills you. Believing that you are worthy of achieving your goals. Unapologetically believing in yourself and following your own compass…. waking up every day ready to achieve greatness because you believe. No money, no time, no person, no fear can get in your way when you’re living purposefully. Dream, believe, achieve.

Giving back. Serving others. Finding your gifts and using them for good.

Living your life to the fullest while being kind to others

To not give in to societies norms, to live by own standards, do things my way because it feels right. Knowing that even when I make mistakes and things don’t go my way that I can learn, let go, and move on.

Doing what is right, especially when it’s difficult. Taking care of those who need your care.

Taking time to acknowledge your desires and putting them into action. Taking care of yourself so you can be of service to others…family, community, the person walking down the street that needs a smile. Living a life sourced in LOVE.

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and, even though most of us are not where we want to be in life (whatever that means), we need to see the beauty and strength in being exactly who / where we are. we need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are WORTHY, we are ENOUGH, we have a PURPOSE, and we are LOVE(D).

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so…what is your PURPOSE?

To raise my children to be respectful and caring to all people. With all the changes in our country, it’s more important than ever to stand up for what is right, and take care of people in need.

Not really sure. What am I sure of is that I want to be a good human being and leave a mark on this World.

To make a difference in this world by inspiring others to follow their dreams and to simply be Happy!

My purpose is to figure out what my purpose is. But doing that by a lot of trial and error, self-exploration, trying new things, making mistakes, loving, losing, learning to take things as they come, and to make each day count. (Sorry, those last two were from Jack Dawson’s dinner speech in Titanic.)

I am here to live my truth as proof that despite it all WE CAN. We can all get out of bed everyday and choose personal excellence. We can all get paid for doing what we Love. We can all forgive continuously and graciously. We can all make mistakes and get back up. We can all have it all because there is enough for everyone. My purpose is fearless and intentional.

Love and be loved.

To live a life so good that at the end I can say “I did the damn thing, my way.”

To be honest and true to myself. Be honest and true to others.

To do whatever I can to get a positive outcome. Not just for me, not just for others, but for all. It’s not always possible, but what matters is that I go onto situations with this in mind.

Touch as many people as I can and Help spread joy and laughter

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Here’s what it means to me:

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that’s it.  Now join me. go live in your PURPOSE.

i will always end our #powerpact sessions by saying that i see you, i love you, and i am on your side.  let’s grow.

Comment below to add to this flow of thought.

catch me on the ‘gram if you want at @THEPOWERPACT

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i write this with a friend or two in mind. 

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POWER IS POWER, right?  or is it?

from time to time i need to reeeeaally feel like i’ve got the POWER.  don’t you? i need it to be mine – no like, actually mine. I need to see it / feel it / taste it  and like, have my auras dancing to it and all that. truth bomb: sometimes i need crazy, ridiculous, OMG  moments in my life that render me 100% POWERED up, that get my blood flowing – times that make me feel like this:

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….not always, but i need to stack up enough of those moments over my lifetime to keep me motivated and moving forward.  i also need small, tender moments of POWER.  choices. decisions. intentions gone right.  you know? i just need to be able to do this from time to time:

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don’t you?

as a new year comes upon us, i find myself doing a lot of necessary reflecting in preparation for setting my intentions and determining who i want to become in the upcoming year. and y’all, it’s official: I AM TAKING MY POWER TO THE NEXT LEVEL.  but like, what does that even mean, you ask.  and actually, your guess is as good as mine.  i know it involves asserting myself more, not apologizing unless i’m truly sorry, never hitting ‘reply all’ on corporate emails unless i mean to aka slowing down & paying attention (so far so good on that one), and being more mindful about the choices i make. what does it mean to you?

i asked a few friends to reflect & share their truth. (but i don’t know who, because my surveys are anonymous).  here are the results:

so…how are you?

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name a few things in your life that make you feel POWERFUL

The love I share with my spouse, Money (I know, I know), a really good smoothie in the morning works miracles and also, time – it makes me feel like the world’s most powerful person when time is on my side.

My never-ending drive to only let positivity into my life & to share love whenever I’m able.

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tell a story about a POWERFUL moment in your life. what was so dope about it?

It’s mostly little moments. Whenever I do something for someone else that involves “sacrificing” something, whether it’s knowing when to stay silent or simply doing something that’s only a mere inconvenience to me but kind of a deal for the other person. These things happen almost daily.

April 11, 2016, 6:00pm (phone rings) “he’s dead.” “How do you know?”, “tell me he’s dead.”, “he’s dead.” I prayed for God to take him away everyday for 10+ years; I couldn’t help but feel the power. There was nothing left to fear. His death afforded me courage in the absence of the fear he placed and if nothing else I have that nice thing to say about him to my son. That’s pretty dope.

The day we got married; the stars aligned and all was right. Everything was perfect, even though perfect doesn’t exist. It was still perfect and that made me feel invincible. I cried when I least expected to cry and laughed when I wasn’t supposed to. We were told the only way you would remember your wedding night was to go stand in the corner for 5 mins and just… watch. Take it all in and remember everything that was happening. We did it and that’s one of best feelings ever.


POWER is what has inspired me to write this message – it is also what has prompted me to solicit the truths and stories of my friends. (thank you to those who contributed to this post – know that your openness is planting seeds for others.)

ok so, here is what i do know: i know that i want to use what POWER i have to emPOWER those around me.  i want to support friends, strangers, queens & kings alike.  that is the pact i have made to myself, and it is what i want to gift to you – little moments of mindfulness that help you remember / refine your ability to trust yourself, to recognize your growth, to harness your talent, and to take back YOUR POWER.  all while i do the same for ME.

https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/5a46c8b71c0000220068dc84.png?ops=1910_10002018 SHOULD FEEL LIKE THIS (and by ‘this’, i mean it should feel jaw-dropping, beautiful, diverse, at the top of the game, and extremely confident).  Each person in this photo represents a piece of you and and a piece of me – they represent the ideas we should pursue, the conversations we should spark, the self care we should invest in.

this level of power is already inside of us, it’s just waiting to be activated. 

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squad, let’s get active.

i will always end our #powerpact sessions by saying that i see you, i love you, and i am on your side.  let’s grow.

Comment below to add to this flow of thought.

catch me on the ‘gram if you want at @CALLMEKYLA